Completing the Boat Purchase

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I complete the boat purchase — but not without some banking headaches.

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Once the survey was done, I had some paperwork to do before completing the purchase of the boat. Here’s how that went.

The Survey Report

The first part of finishing up was a waiting game: I had to wait for the boat surveyor, Garrett, to complete and submit his report. He warned me that it would likely be at the end of the week because he had another boat to survey the day after mine and he was right: it arrived in my email in box on Friday.

It was 43 pages long and included all kinds of information with pictures about the boat. It also included a lot of good information that would help me set it up and maintain it properly.

For example, one of the findings was that the flares were expired. He provided good information about what I had to get to satisfy Coast Guard requirements. The boat also had fire extinguishers but they had neveer been installed — they were still in their original boxes. They also weren’t the kind the boat is now supposed to have — although they are grandfathered in so they’re okay. He mentioned where they could/should be installed and how a cabinet must be labeled if a fire extinguisher is installed inside it.

In general, the findings were very minor. There was nothing major (or expensive) that needed attention. Best of all, the value of the boat came in higher than what I was paying for it.

I forwarded a copy of the report to the bank and title company and insurance company.

The one thing I forgot to do was talk to the broker, John, about it. Maybe I didn’t see a reason to. In any case, he contacted me the following Monday to ask if I’d seen the report. I guess he wanted to know if it contained anything that required renegotiation. But it didn’t. Everything was really minor — stuff I certainly wasn’t going to nitpick over to save a few hundred dollars and/or piss off the current owner.

As I sometimes do, I put myself in the seller’s shoes. I’ve sold large assets in the past and have always hated when a buyer tried to get a price drop or concessions after a deal had been struck. Hell, the buyer of a 4-unit apartment building I owned tried to get me to buy brand new stoves for each unit because the ones installed had pilot lights. I said no. Yet on that same deal, when the inspector found termites in the building, I paid to have them removed. You have to do what’s right.

In the case of this boat, there was nothing the seller needed to do to make the deal right. I thought it was a good deal. So I told John that the deal was good to go.

The Bank and Title Company Draw Up Papers

The bank sent off the survey to the underwriters or reviewers or whoever had to approve of what they saw to complete the loan processing. I wasn’t worried about that at all. As I’ve said earlier, the boat was like new.

We had originally set a closing date of September 6, which is the first day I could get back out to the boat — I had an art show to attend in Leavenworth, WA on Labor Day weekend. But the bank and title company moved the date up. First it was September 1, then August 31. I think there may have been some talk about August 30.

I was concerned. Once the boat was mine, I was responsible for storing it. I had no idea where I wanted to keep it. Things were happening too fast.

But this is where John and seller came to my rescue. The seller offered to let me keep the boat in his slip until I was ready to move it. I told John that would be the first week in October and he didn’t balk. Of course, it would be out a lot of that time, but all I cared about was having a place to put it when I returned from traveling around Puget Sound, learning the boat’s ins and outs and getting comfortable at the controls.

On Tuesday, August 30, the title company lady, Callie, sent me the closing statement. This was the first time that I’d see what the boat was going to cost me, including taxes and all fees. It came in about $1000 under my budget, which I thought was pretty funny. I will definitely be itemizing deductions next year with the huge sales tax payment I’d make.

On Wednesday, the signing of the papers began. It was mostly Docusign stuff I could do online, but there was a huge bundle of papers that I’d need to have notarized. Since I always use my bank to get papers notarized, I asked if I could sign there. The lending bank was the same bank I use for my personal and business accounts, but not the same branch. The lending banker told me I could and that my local branch would handle the signing, notarization, and forwarding of the documents for me. It would actually make things faster. The local branch requested that I come after 3 PM.

In the meantime, I sent a wire transfer to get the rest of my downpayment — basically the proceeds from selling my helicopter in May — from Citibank to the title company.

After working up a sweat doing chores in my garage, I showered, dressed in clean clothes, and went to the bank. The paper signing went smoothly. The banker was very nice and very positive about my purchase and plans for it. While I waited, she made a copy of all of the documents for me and forwarded scans to the lending banker. When everything had been reviewed on the other end, I was done with the bank.

I headed out to meet some friends in a champagne bar in town. Girls night out, my treat. I was celebrating.

But on the way, I checked my messages and found one from Callie at the title company. The wire transfer money had not arrived.

Citibank Wire Transfer Woes

First, I need to mention that when I sold my helicopter in May, I got quite a bit of money for it. More than I thought it was worth. It was definitely too much money to put into the bank earning 0.1% interest. And the stock market was a rollercoaster back then — certainly too risky to “invest” some money I didn’t want to lose. So I went online and found a special savings account at Citibank that was paying a full 1% — yes, 10 times more interest. I moved it into that account and let it sit. (For the record, it earned about $400 during the period I had it on deposit.)

Doing a wire transfer was as easy as logging onto my account, filling in a form to create a new payee, and then specifying how much money to send that payee. I did all this on Wednesday morning, around 11 AM local time — hours before the cutoff time.

Now I’ve made wire transfers before. I’ve used them to buy (and sell) helicopters and real estate and even to pay for helicopter insurance. I had (ironically) received one the day before. So I know how long a wire transfer takes: it’s almost immediate. Heck, I remember chatting on the phone with the title company lady when I got my share of the proceeds for the sale of my marital home. She said, “I’m sending it now” and five minutes later it was in my bank account.

So at 4:30 PM on Wednesday, when Callie said she hadn’t gotten the money I’d sent five and a half hours before, alarms went off.

And thus began my nightmarish experience with Citibank customer service.

I won’t detail it here. Honestly, I just want to forget it. But it entailed making phone calls to a call center in one of many countries all over the world and trying to have a conversation with someone whose accent was so thick you could barely understand him/her. Going through the same questions and security checks over and over. Having them read the same scripts to me over and over. I was a on hold a total of 3 hours over the next 48 hours. They had hold timers and would pick up exactly two minutes after putting me on hold to apologize for putting me on hold and tell me they had to put me back on hold. Two minutes later, the same. I did this with at least a dozen people. A supervisor was never available. Two support people disconnected me — I’m sure it was on purpose. They refused to tell me what was holding up the transfer or let me talk to the people who could release it. They told me it was the bank policy to review all wire transfers and that it would take 24 to 48 hours.

This was the biggest crock of bullshit I’d ever been fed.

On Thursday morning at about 5:30 AM, I decided to cancel the transfer and try again. When the money went back into my account, I called Citibank wire transfer services and let the support person walk me through the process. He assured me that it would be quick and that the money would reach the recipient long before 10 AM. If It wasn’t there by then, I should call.

It wasn’t there by 10 AM. Or 11 AM. I started calling. I got angry. I screamed a lot. “It’s my money!” I screamed at them. “Why won’t you transfer my money?”

Callie tried to come up with some creative ways to get the money. Make a wire transfer to myself at my regular bank. That would go right though, wouldn’t it? Get a cashiers check and FedEx it to the title company bank. Call a Citibank bank branch directly to talk to a bank manager.

I called three Citibank branches in New York City. All three forwarded my call to the same call center. There was no nearby branch. And what if that wire transfer to me was also held up?

I decided to wait.

When I went to bed Thursday night, the transfer was still pending. It had been 15 hours.

In the morning, the transfer was still pending. It was now over 24 hours.

I wasn’t going to get my blood pressure up again by calling. I had to be in Leavenworth at 7:30 AM for the art show.

I was setting up my booth at about 9:30 AM when my phone rang. It was a recorded voice from Citibank.They wanted to talk to Maria Langer. I pushed the right buttons to confirm that I was Maria Langer and I was ready to talk. A heavily accented man’s voice came on: “Thank you for calling Citibank Fraud Protection Department. How can I help you?”

“You called me,” I said.

The phone went dead, but I was still connected. I stayed connected for 20 minutes as I continued setting up my booth. Then the connection cut.

I called the number that had just called me. A recorded voice asked for my ATM card’s last four digits. I punched them in. The recorded voice asked if I was Maria Langer. I said I was. A heavily accented woman’s voice came on: “Thank you for calling Citibank Fraud Protection Department. How can I help you?”

Deja vu all over again.

I told her that Citibank had called me. That Citibank was holding up my wire transfer.

She asked me the usual questions, reading off the usual script. She sent me a code on my phone. I read it back to her. Then she put me on hold for two minutes. Twice.

When she got back on the line, she told me she needed to ask me some questions to verify my identity. She then proceeded to ask me multiple choice questions about addresses I’d lived at and cars I’d owned. He accent was thick and she had to repeat herself many times. I passed those tests. Then I had to answer questions about the transaction I was trying to do. When had I initiated it. Who was it going to? What was the amount?

It was the amount that almost tripped me up. I wasn’t sitting at my desk with all that bank paperwork in front of me or access to my Citibank account online. I was at an art show 40 miles away. I knew the first three digits of that six digit number, but she wanted the exact amount, right down to the pennies.

I texted Callie and asked her. A moment later, the number appeared. I recited it to the woman thousands of miles away who I wanted to strangle.

Then she read me something about wire fraud. I only understood every 10th word. She asked whether I’d gotten the request for the money in email. I had, but I wasn’t going to tell her that. So I told her a different truth: “I got it at a bank where I signed a bunch of papers for this transaction.” That seemed to satisfy her.

“What is it for?” she asked.

I didn’t think it was any of her goddamn business, but I didn’t say that. I didn’t want to screw this up. “A boat,” I said, feeling defeated. I think I would have told her anything at that point, just to get through this. “I’m buying a boat.”

She finally told me what I was expecting to eventually hear, reading it off a script. The review was completed and the transfer could move forward. I had to ask how long it would take. Within two hours, she told me — which is what it should have taken in the first place.

Thirty minutes later, Callie finally had the money.

It had taken Citibank 30 hours to complete a wire transfer from one US bank to another. You better believe I’m pulling every penny of my money out of my Citibank account and closing it permanently next week.

The Happy Ending

At 11:22 AM, I received an email from Callie that was also sent to John and a few other people I didn’t know:

CONGRATULATIONS!

We have closed and funded on the Ranger Tug. This deal is finalized. The Sellers have been notified.

Attached to this email are the final document copies for your files and for Maria to keep on board the vessel until state registration (couple of weeks) and CG Documentation (4-5 months) are issued. Maria, we will work on getting the CG Official Number as soon as we can, this will take a couple of weeks to see as well.

If you have any questions, please let me know.

It was a pleasure working with all of you, have a great weekend!

I was now the proud owner of a 2019 Ranger Tug R-29 CB.